It's weird and fun to watch the first 11 minutes of the film fairly complete. I think it's working pretty well but certain sections need to be stretched out. I don't know if this is because Ben appears out of breath in his big scene, but we need more desert shots. I'd love to get a time lapse or something, but I'm scared that I'll drive all the way out there and find no clouds. The whole scene needs to play longer. Think Tarkovsky whose films all seem to play in real time.
Also, the bridge and the red room scenes are so abstract that they blend together. So before the red room maybe we need some kind of dramatic establishing shot. Clue the audience in that we're going to a different place. But it has to look weird. Maybe composite some dark clouds into the shot or something. We also need to add time in there someplace to make sure that the audience has the time to digest things.
I'm realizing that we need to imply the fire more strongly at the end. It would be great to get pix of a charred house. Lacking that, some burned items or keepsakes ought to work. Figuring the last scene will take about 2 minutes, the whole thing times out at about 13+ minutes.
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