A tension!

I'm wondering if what makes a film work are constant arguments. Consider the test images from the dining room set (original left, color-corrected right). I had in mind to light it flat and bland to express the lifeless state of the characters' marriage. But when I first lit the scene it just looked too dead. Absolutely lifeless. So I put a little more hard light to animate the scene a bit (shown above). This test shot is a bit sloppy so it's hard to tell what stays and what goes. So apparently, here's the goal of this shot: create a lively shot that expresses lifelessness. Great, how am I supposed to do that? The lighting references I consult don't talk about stuff like that. They all talk about hard and soft light and creating volume. I need a lighting book called "Lighting and Meaning." Where can I find that?

So maybe what makes lighting work is a series of arguments between the director and the DP. The DP wants the shot to look beautiful. The director wants it to be meaningful. And somehow over the course of things, the shot ends up being meaningful yet artistically lively.